Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Well I visited my grandparents this weekend. They both look like they are doing much better. The only thing that frustrates me is that the last couple of times I have visited them, they will carry on and on about there will, or what they will do if one of them passes on. I guess it is to be expected, they have both been to the doctors many times this year.

My boss’s daughter is doing much better. It has been hard for me, trying to figure out how to deal and cope with the frustrations that I have at work. People working habitually showing up an hour late, and leaving hours early because my boss is very busy, and in and out taking care of her daughter. Talking on the phone for hours on end, and goofing off with homework. My boss doesn’t know. I don’t want give her more stuff to deal with right now. So I am trying my best to cope, and deal with the frustrations myself for now. I picked up some noise canceling head sets. They are working out really well, maybe too well. I miss out on all the conversations, and jokes in the office. I am on the verge of alienating myself again to cope. I trust my boss; I do not think she is aware of what is going on. I find myself fighting with myself to not go back down the depression, frustration, anger, and guilt that I have worked so hard to get out of. I find myself struggling some days not to act out in disrespect like some others do. I am tying my best to do what is right. Come in on time, do my work, support my boss and the department the best I can, and keep my nose clean. It is hard, it is frustrating, it is depressing, and it is upsetting. But keep doing what I have learned. I hope to someday be able to talk to my boss for advice, but not now. She is being strong dealing with her daughter’s accident, and all the other things that are going on in her life. I can be strong and deal with my small problems for now.

One day at a time.


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