Monday, July 17, 2006

No one wants a helpful person. Helpful people are just not all that helpful. People despise help. People get weirded out when someone thinks of them. People like me are more of a nuisance than anything else, like a naught.

It has been a very long weekend. My Grandfather had to have an ambulance get him at 11pm due to shortness of breath, and being clammy. It is weird to say this, but thankfully it is a blood clot; not a heart attack. They found a blood clot in his lung and that is why he is having difficulty breathing. He is now in ICU, and on blood thinners. They are trying to figure out what to do next. He has not been moving much, due to his back pain and hip problems. This is what caused the clots. The doctors are leery of operating, because of his age and he is diabetic. So, they are trying to figure out what next to do.

I am finding myself falling back on my copping skills that I have learned. It is helping me from dropping back to a depression. I don't want to go back there again. I have made lots of progress, and at my last meeting with my counselor she said that she doesn’t think I need to set up regular appointments. There is not much more she can do to help me, and it is really neat to see me smile and laugh. I need to still take my medication, and still work on things, but I am doing it. I am beating this. I need more sleep...


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