Friday, June 09, 2006

Well this week has actually gone way better than I expected. My co-workers actually appeared happy to have me back from my vacation. They asked me if I had fun, and enjoyed it. I am still not sure how to answer that question. I honestly don’t know if I enjoyed it, it was just a change of pace. It is hard to explain that I haven’t been able to feel like I am having fun with anything. It probably would have just been easier if I lied and told everyone, ‘ya, I had a great time.’ I just told everyone, ‘it was a nice change of pace. I saw a lot of animals, and stuff.’

I feel a little bit better each day. I am still not hungry, maybe at best just snacky. Everyone in the office is complaining about it being really cold with the air conditioning, but I don’t feel a difference.

Every so often I go down to the campus nurse to check my blood work. They are willing to take my money, and I don’t have to get a doctor’s blessing. I started doing this early this year because I was trying to figure out what was my problem. I thought it may be diabetes, or something else. I go back every so often and do some more work. This last time I went the nurse pointed out some results that showed my triglycerides and cholesterol more than doubled, and in no way fit my history. We couldn’t figure this out, considering that I eat maybe once a day, if that. She suggested that it may be a thyroid issue, and if so, I need to talk to my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist has decided she wants to start monitoring my blood work now. She said that if it is thyroid, that will affect my depression and it is easy to fix. That would be so nice, but I am not getting my hopes up. It seams too easy.

I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday. All the things that she is going threw; it makes me look stupid and pathetic for being depressed. It was actually a nice lunch even thought we both talked about our problems, we also talked about the things that we are doing to fix, and cope with our problems. It was one of the better lunches I have had in a long time. Plus I actually ate more than just a snack.


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