Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Well I survived yesterday. It was not that bad, but there were a lot of trying moments. I am doing my best to get buy each day, and think positive, communicate with others, and get my work done. I found out I am not disappointing my boss like I thought I was, and found out a few problems that she wants me to work at for now. So I am doing my best to address them, and not be a burden.

I put up a poster today, and my appetite is returning. It may not seem like much, but it feels like a big step for me. It is just a picture of one of the water falls from Yellowstone. It will remind me of my trip there. I should get some pictures developed that I took. I need one of the burnt down forests. As odd as it may sound, it has some significant meaning to me. Even though the fires of 1988 looked extremely devastating at the time, it turns out it was healthy for the forest in the long run. There are now more trees and saplings growing up every where. There is now life screeching up to replace, renew, grow healthier, and overcome all the death and destruction. I need that as a reminder that I can now see as fitting in my life. As bad and devastating as this past events have originally appeared, it is possible that some new, stronger, and improved life, friendships, and understanding can emerge to replace it. It will never be the same, but there is still potential, and more importantly, hope that is starting to sprout up. Ya, bison will come along and stomp some of that every day, but also every day I am finding more is sprouting up.

This log has helped me look back and see the changes. See the problems that at the time felt so overwhelming, at now mute. It is a good feeling. One day at a time, one step at a time.


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