Friday, June 16, 2006

I started doing better yesterday afternoon. I was able to start getting my wits about me. I got blindsided the other day. I was only expecting to be on my own for one day this week, not have help for only one day. It is like I am practicing tight rope walking and I am just now starting to get the hang of it. I don’t fall, or slip as much as I used to. All of a sudden one day I find out my couch is gone, and the safety net is also missing. To make madders worse I am afraid of heights, I have looked down, and there are lions ready to pounce if I slip. I guess I will do ok. I have to, the show must go on. People depend on me; I can’t just hide in my room and try to wait it out.

It will be hard, it always is. I must be improving; it didn’t take me much time to recover from this surprise. The thing I had forgotten is that next week my fellow programmer will be back, and will be walking along right beside me. Also, I now know that I have others in my department that are there, quietly cheering me on.

I was lessoning to the news radio last night, to see why the freeway was backed up. Well I never did find out why, but I heard an interview that just about made my blood boil. KNX 1070 had an ‘exclusive’ interview with Officer Kristina Ripatti, an officer that was tragically shoot and is now paralyzed during a robbery on June 3, 2006. The idiot reporter apparently has no idea what it is like to suffer a loss. I myself only have an inkling of a clue, and I could only relate due to understanding the pain and frustration of depression. The reporter was asking all sorts of stupid questions like, what phase of grief are you in, how can you deal with such a loss, are you a fighter, do you think you will ever walk again, do you think you will go back to work, are you going to fight this, does the support of the community help? Come on dude, I could hear by her voice how painful the questions were, and that you are asking her the questions that she is suffering from both day and night. How hard do you think it would be to admit on public radio all the fears, and that the hope that you are desperately holding on to is minor at best. It is painful enough to admit that to yourself, and even more so to your family and friends, let alone the world. I know you are after a story, and ratings, and the audience all has the same questions, and want to put her up on a pedestal. Did you stop to think or care that she may not be ready or want the weight and responsibility of being a roll model for others? Not even Christopher Reeve was ready that quickly to be in the lime light and a role model, even thought he was 'Superman'. This is a poor mother that was doing her job, a job that doesn’t get much attention, when tragedy struck, and now her whole life is turned upside down.

I almost hope a bizarre news radio room accident happens, leaving you with the possibility of never living life the same, and you are bombarded by reporters asking you stupid and painful questions to boost their career. Then maybe you will know what you put this poor woman threw.


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