Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I guess church really isn’t the place for the brothers and sisters in Christ to come for comfort and encouragement, unless they can pray for you for some ‘real’ problem, or smack you up side the head to cast out a demon, or have you weeping for forgiveness of some specific sin. I went to church for the first time in months because it was Father’s day, and my sister was home and I want to spend some time with her. I might as well have been invisible. No one greeted me, one new person said hello. Even after the service, no said anything to me except to complain about my ‘Whitesnake’ t-shirt. It wasn’t tasteless, she just doesn’t like snakes. I did have a conversation with one person there. She is probably one of the few I respect, and that is because she is not a phony, and is not afraid to speak her mind if need be. I know she will not play games, and I respect her for that honesty. I found out her father had past away, and offered her my condolences, and lunch if she wanted some time. We talked a little, and I know she is having a hard time, but she is doing all right.

I don’t think they have a problem with depression, if you have a real reason that they can address for the depression. Like someone dieing, or loosing a job, or bad health. Then they can preach to you about how God won’t give you anything you can’t handle, refiner’s fire, Job’s suffering, and all that good stuff. Also if you can just get over the grief, you are stronger, and don’t need no doctor and no pills, because you have enough faith in God.

Me, I am a complete lost to them on that. I haven’t lost anyone, I got a promotion, I’m not dieing of anything, I am seeing a doctor, and to top it off I am taking medication. So the only thing they can conclude is my faith is weak for relying on medication and doctors. I must not be confessing some sin or I would feel close to God. I am not seeing the prophets and people in the Bible in the right light, because when they talk about Job, I point out that his ‘comforters’ were doing the same thing everyone else is doing to me, Elisha wanted to die due to depression, and the man after God’s own heart, king David, has many psalms that were written from depression. When they remind me that God won’t give me what I can’t handle, I point out that maybe this will be used by God, that he wants me to understand depression, and what people suffering from it go threw. Maybe I will be able to help just one person.

So now I am just ignored, and unwelcome. Maybe when I am better, I will just look for a new church. The other possibility is I look for a new church now, with my problem to see what their true acceptance of a brother that needs encouragement. Funny, the sermon was on how God welcomes us as a Father would his children, no mater what they have done, or are going threw. I guess the heavenly siblings are another matter.


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