Sunday, May 07, 2006
Yesterday I went to Panda Express for lunch with my family. I ended up becoming one of those customers that hold up everything and slow down the line. I didn’t mean to, but everything I did end up slowing everything down. First problem was I had a gift card I wanted to use, and the poor casher had to pull out a sheet with like 59 steps she had to do to redeem it. Then I made the mistake of paying the rest of the balance with a roll of quarters, and the poor girl had to count out it all out. To finish it all off I had ordered with the meal a Panda Cares stuffed animal for helping the Katrina victims. Wouldn’t you know, she had to go to the back and find a new box with them… All the while the line keeps growing and some of the food line employees had to stop serving to be second casher. Luckily no one in line got upset, or yelled, because I think I would have lost it and started crying. When the girl gave me the bear and the food I apologized for being such a problem, and she just looked at me confused. My dad told me that I didn’t do anything wrong. It isn’t my fault they made the gift cards so hard to use, nor is it my fault that people are dishonest with rolled coins, nor is it my fault there are so many people that want to help buy getting a Panda Cares plush that they can’t keep a stock of them at the front. He was right, and it was nice to hear him remind me of all that. I must have been quite a sight, a grown man eating orange chicken, cradling a stuffed panda in my arm.
I visited with my grandparents after lunch. It was such a help to talk to my grandmother about what I am going threw and felling. I don’t even have to worry about making sense, because she gets it. She had been down this road herself for years. She under stands what I am going threw before I can even finish my thought. It was such a comfort to talk to someone that understands, and can validate that I am not crazy, or scary. It was amazing how many things started to make sense in my mind once I voiced it. Writing my thought down in this blog that no one reads helps me to get all my thoughts out of my head and that helps the rest of my day. But just talking to someone that listens to and understands and doesn’t jump to conclusions and that I don't upset is so much more comforting. I can talk to my best friend and coworker about some of this stuff because he to has been down this same road, but I worry about putting him in a hard position with the rest of the office.
I am still not sure what to do about my friend and boss. I go to see my counselor on Tuesday, maybe she will come with me to my appointment and the counselor can help answer some of her confusion and worries. Because I can't make sense and I don’t want to loose another friend.
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I visited with my grandparents after lunch. It was such a help to talk to my grandmother about what I am going threw and felling. I don’t even have to worry about making sense, because she gets it. She had been down this road herself for years. She under stands what I am going threw before I can even finish my thought. It was such a comfort to talk to someone that understands, and can validate that I am not crazy, or scary. It was amazing how many things started to make sense in my mind once I voiced it. Writing my thought down in this blog that no one reads helps me to get all my thoughts out of my head and that helps the rest of my day. But just talking to someone that listens to and understands and doesn’t jump to conclusions and that I don't upset is so much more comforting. I can talk to my best friend and coworker about some of this stuff because he to has been down this same road, but I worry about putting him in a hard position with the rest of the office.
I am still not sure what to do about my friend and boss. I go to see my counselor on Tuesday, maybe she will come with me to my appointment and the counselor can help answer some of her confusion and worries. Because I can't make sense and I don’t want to loose another friend.
