Tuesday, May 23, 2006
What a hard and draining day. I messed up badly. I hate not thinking rationally. Why am I so damb emotional? Over something as stupid as getting the department goodies right. I am not thinking rationally, and I definitely cant write rationally, so why do I email everyone in the department in print, black and white, my frustrations and displeasure of always messing up lunch? God I am so stupid. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear forever.
I guess if I had to find some silver lining to thing gigantic ominous cloud, it is that some of my friends came to me and spoke their mind. Fortunately I found out I am perceiving a lot of things wrong. People are trying their best to respect me, and give me space and time. Unfortunately, I may now have messed things up so badly, that any small progress I had made is destroyed. At lest I have a better idea of where I actually used to stand, and it was not as bad as I feared, and talking with some of them, I may not have done as much damage as I fear... I guess time will tell with all things.
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I guess if I had to find some silver lining to thing gigantic ominous cloud, it is that some of my friends came to me and spoke their mind. Fortunately I found out I am perceiving a lot of things wrong. People are trying their best to respect me, and give me space and time. Unfortunately, I may now have messed things up so badly, that any small progress I had made is destroyed. At lest I have a better idea of where I actually used to stand, and it was not as bad as I feared, and talking with some of them, I may not have done as much damage as I fear... I guess time will tell with all things.
