Sunday, May 23, 2004

So I hear the buzz is all about half life 2 again. According to, uh, well just about everyone it’s going to be the best freaken game ever made. TOTAL BULLSHIT. The best game ever made was fallout 1 and 2. The only game in history were you could go from giving a mutant a buzz cuts with a mini gun to fucking a drug addicted whore walking the streets working for her( or his) habit. You could be the nicest guy around or you could blow away anybody who pisses you off (And we are talking about total gore kills, like have half of you body blown off). You could talk you way out of a fight or you could snipe em at long distance. You could Satan pleasing be evil thug, or a good little tushoe with a nicety, nice little bitch attitude. You got a rep for you actions too. Good or bad, people knew you for your actions. The future is a nuclear waste land you are there to steal, rob, and generally bitch slap your way though life. The game was like the road warrior without cars. You could customize yourself unheard of way (Gotta love that good lover attribute and that bloody mess attribute was always cool too :-) and the selection of weapons is intense. Every thing from spiked knuckles and cattle prod to plasma weapons and rocket launchers. And when you really needed that door opened, you could hack a computer system or you could just blow up it up with some c4. You could pick up a pet dog by feeding it some rat burgers. AH, dogmeat… he was such a cool dog. Saved my ass so many times when bandits or muties were playing slap the bitch with my carcass. He never did much damage, but he sure was good a knocking people out right when you needed it. The humor of this game was really uh, fiftyish. Just tons upon tons of references to flying saucers, Elvis, and other pop culture type icons. The npc's in this game were very funny too.

And if you happen to run into a crashed spaceship, remember to give the little green men the Elvis portrait…. :)

Oh and Dark Indy, I am so going to kick your ass from here to hell when half life 2 comes out. Get ready for some more jump dodging and freaken lucky missile hits. (And no more freaken satchel charge frags this time!)

And yes half life 2 will totally rock, but the classics will always be the best.

Lone Wolf


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